Hello to you lovers of confusion and strife. Do you get excited when you see people fighting on the Internet? GOOD NEWS. You are in the right place kids. Here, we show you the crème de la crème of battles that hurt. Every month, you are chosen for the murderous projections through the interposed keyboards, if you don’t deserve it. Yes, the battle has begun. You are not ready.
1. We didn’t expect this ending but we love it
“Your Netflix viewing is making climate change worse, experts say. Watching 30 minutes of Netflix can produce as many movies as driving 6 miles. »
“It’s fine for everyday people to feel guilty for every little thing that sparks happiness while oil executives dip their hands into big barrels of dinosaur juice to lubricate every time they spill”
2. Look for logic
“Punishing women with the death penalty will reduce abortions, says Idaho lieutenant governor candidate”
“So abortion is murder, but killing women who have abortions is not. »
3. Conspiratorial question, obvious answer
“Remember when they spent years telling us horrors about the hole in the ozone layer, then they suddenly stopped talking about it and no one ever talked about the ozone layer again”
“What happened is that scientists found that chlorofluorocarbons are not good for the ozone, countries listened, the Montreal Protocol was signed, and the use of CFCs decreased by 99, 7%, which led to the stabilization of the ozone layer. This is perhaps the greatest example of global cooperation in history. »
4. Don’t take on the wrong enemy
“I make packing boxes for $16 an hour in Amazon’s fulfillment center. I’d be disgusted if people flipping burgers made as much as I do doing skilled labor. »
“Bezos makes $150,000 a minute and you get paid $16 an hour but you’re mad at the McDonald’s crew? »
5. Wrong answer
“_ The fetus is the same as a human being. Life begins at conception. If you are for abortion then you are a murderer. Take me to your friends.
_ If you believe that life begins at conception, I have an experience that I would like to share with you. Imagine you’re at a fertility clinic and the fire alarm goes off. As you run towards the exit, you hear someone yelling in a room. You open the door and see a scared 5 year old standing in front of a table. On the table, there was a box labeled “1000 viable human embryos”. You can a) take the baby and help him escape b) take the box with the embryos and leave. The smoke is rising and you’re starting to suffocate, and if you don’t take out one of the two leaving NOW, you’re going to die. Which one did you take?
_ Kiss my ass. »
6. Difficult (but funny, you have to admit)
“_ I’m selling naked for $10, are you interested?
_ Are these your clothes?
_ Yes, my head is in the pictures.
_ It can’t be good. »
7. Victory by KO
“We really didn’t have the right generation to start World War II … they could barely get over their anxiety about being called with the wrong pronoun.”
_ Pretty funny coming from a generation that can’t stand a black person sitting at the front of the bus. »
8. Superior Penalty
“_ Every person who does not respect the national anthem should be forced to spend 14 days in Cuba.
_ Oh no please… don’t let me go back…”
9. It’s easy to fight boomers
“So how did the boomers destroy the economy?” Tell me more.
_ I think this is basic common knowledge. I will send it to you in .pdf format but you probably won’t be able to open it. »
10. It is not nice to type physically, but there is an exception
“_ A woman loses 95% of her interest in a man when he asks her for a picture of him.
_ A guy will lose 100% of his interest in you if you send him your picture. »